The Narcissist’s Mirror

Brad R Banks
6 min readDec 1, 2023

When a narcissist targets their victim:

A narcissist will seek out their victim with nothing but bad intent for control, destruction, dismantling, and abandonment to fulfill their hatred and desire for total control.

The narcissist seeks out their victim by targeting good people who have never done anything to the narcissist. The narcissist targets these good-intentioned people because they know these people look for the good in other people. These innocent people are targeted because they have a heart, morals, emotions, and compassion, for the ones they care about.


When a narcissist finds their target, they are relentless with the evil tactics they use to trap their victim inside their nasty sticky grasp. They will mirror you, your thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, dreams for the future, and your ambitions. These mean and evil people come off as nice, respectful, kind, caring, loving, loyal, honest, and devoted people with nothing but good intentions. Their smiles and acts of kindness are nothing but fake to the core.

And then “BAM” their victim has been caught in the narcissist’s sticky web of deception, hatred, manipulation, gaslighting, false accusations, and lies. This is the only time that you will find the narcissist happy and satisfied about anything. They hate themselves and anyone they come into contact with. They are miserable people with nothing but bad intent deep within their veins, hearts, and soles.

Full Steam Ahead!

Now their evil tactics, of destruction, & manipulation can start full steam ahead to destroy who you are in any way possible.

The Love Bombing stage is set in place and starts in full swing. They will start with Carpet Love Bombing, or Saturation Love Bombing, this phase can last throughout the relationship with these evil & heartless people. This Love Bombing is done in a progressive and non-stop manner to inflict as much damage as they can in every part of your life, particularly your heart.

Your heart is the first target in their crosshairs to seek and destroy. The destruction they cause is overwhelming to their target. The aftermath of the Love Bombing stage is the most devastating blow to your heart, mind & soul long after the Narcissist has abandoned you and has depleted everything out of their victim.

This Carpet Love Bombing starts with I love you. The Love Bombing increases in intensity as time passes to gain control over your heart and mind. They will leave Love notes around the home, in your car, or even in your wallet. You can or will receive Love Bombing text messages multiple times a day saying all the different ways that they love you.

This Love Bombing makes you feel so good inside and makes you smile from ear to ear. The love you have for the Narcissist grows stronger and deeper into your heart and mind as every day passes. Now you are hooked on this dangerous mind game they are playing.

Then comes the devaluation stage.

The sex and intimacy is from out of this world for a few months, and then comes the devaluation they place on you. This can start with unnecessary arguments that are totally unwarranted and unexpected. Many times, sex is used as one of their main go-to weapons and their affection for you diminishes rapidly. They will tell you that the honeymoon stage for them ended and they are not interested in sex any longer, until they need or want it and you better be ready.

They will call it the “Honeymoon Stage” and will cause fights over sex and tell you that you don’t appreciate them even when your love for them only grows stronger every day.

They will also tell you that in the beginning, the sex was something new and exciting, so you were just like a new toy and when they are done, they discard it and you until it suits their needs.

The Blame Game:

They will blame you for all the arguments that they cause for absolutely no reason and want you to apologize for them to them. They act like they have no involvement with any disagreements or arguments, and they are all your fault no matter how hard you try to avoid or participate in their nonsense. Then they will get mad at you for not wanting to argue with them.

Either way, you lose no matter what the facts are.

They like to pick and choose facts out of order to try and prove a point that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. They usually sound like a drunk trying to argue. They are just grasping for anything to throw in your lap and let you figure it out. The Narcissist will never try to reconcile anything at all costs.

They will cause fights right before or during any special occasion or during the holidays, even on their birthday after you gave them an exotic piece of jewelry showing them how much they mean to you and how much you care for them. Nothing is ever enough.

Gaslighting At All Costs:

Gaslighting happens when they try to control a victim by twisting their sense of reality. An example of gaslighting would be a partner doing something abusive and then denying it even happened even though you know it to be true. Gaslighting can occur in romantic, platonic, or in family relationships.

They will Gaslight you to deflect any reality away from them at all costs. Reality escapes them and common sense is nowhere to be found. They live in a make-believe world only the Narcissist lives in, and No spaceship could ever reach this crazy world. They are simply delusional.

Unappreciative, Selfish & Self-centered:

No matter what you do for them they will never appreciate anything and nothing will ever make them happy no matter how hard you try to show your love for them. They are so focused on themselves that nothing else matters.

Manipulation Tactics:

They will use manipulation tactics in order to gain control of everything. Manipulative behavior is used for controlling their victims. The harmful behaviors they use are to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion.

The manipulation tactics they use are gaslighting, lying, blaming, criticizing, false accusations, shaming, and can damage their victim to the core. Their actions never match their words and are nothing more than an emotional black hole of meaningless words. They also like to always play the victim of the problems they cause.

The Narcissist Discard:

They will use you for personal gain and when you’re no longer of use to them, they will discard you, or when you catch the Narcissist at a blatant lie or point out any truth or you are on to them, it is time for the Narcissist to make plans to leave you abruptly without warning and it is carefully planned out to hurt you as much as possible.

On their way out they will call you bad names, blame you for things you didn’t do, say they hate you, say they were happy before they met you, and tell you that you never meant anything to them.

You were only a possession to them and never considered you to be a real person. They will try to hurt you as badly as they can on the way out leaving you confused, chasing your tail trying to figure out why they did the things they did to you for no reason and without just cause.

You will be left baffled, confused, beaten down, abandoned, betrayed, used, lonely, sad, heartbroken, exhausted, mentally crushed, and shaken to your core. You will be asking yourself what happened to that wonderful person that you met and loved unconditionally and would have done anything for them.

The worst part is, you will be wondering what you did so wrong to be treated this way by the one who said they would love you until the end of time.




Brad R Banks

Single / Black Hills Professional Home Inspections LLC